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Bruce Wayne Drinks Martinis – Robots Root 2 January 2018

Jon Hamm as Bruce Wayne is all I’ve ever wanted, suddenly. Where all the photomanips are, can’t tell you.

Belated Root! This was written and scheduled to post right before Xmas… but since the Internet is now ruined, it did not.

  • Good news. The Dark Phoenix movie swears it passes the Bechdel Test. Pretttttty low bar, but then again, look what we’ve become.
  • Just failed to resist watching the new BP international trailer. I swear this one is going to be almost as fun color theory as Coco… the shots are breathtakingly arranged.
  • I just read this satirical article about how terrible A-Wings are… and it reminded me: I used to hate, but now love, B-Wings. Somewhere in my late 30’s I fell in love with asymmetry. Admittedly the Falcon still bothers me, but it’s more of a line of sight thing.
  • I don’t mind waiting until 2019 for a Stranger Things 3. It takes time to do it right. My one concern is that kids age up pretty rapidly. But hey. Can’t stop biology.
  • Supposedly a Ben Kenobi film will begin production in 2019 for release in 2020. I still have my doubts on this project, if it’s on Tattooine. I’d like to mine a different well and tell a story that doesn’t involve that planet. I can imagine a number of interesting explorations post Ep VIII that could be fun, and even pair a few legacy characters in an interesting way. What if he goes into hiding but Boba Fett is on the hunt? We could see him on the run across numerous cool worlds, and outsmarting the supposedly best bounty hunter in the galaxy, a cat and mouse game where the pair are almost equal, until Kenobi lands in Tattooine and manages to stay below Fett’s radar despite his employer in IV. There, Disney. Free.
  • I didn’t think I’d be interested, but hot damn is this animation style not working for this project! Looks awesome.
  • Jessica Jones S02 trailer is up. My favorite detail was her receiving a Maleev cover as a painting or some such.
  • My response to the Battle Angel Alita trailer was initially so severe I didn’t have interest in actually WATCHING it. The eyes killed me. But I finally did. And you know what? I still think this literal reaction to anime is an art school experiment gone awry… but the rest of it looks like good cyberpunk. I really like the translucency and detail in her arms.
  • Your chance of being accidentally murdered by a pizza bot in SF has reduced dramatically. And by accidentally,¬† I mean on purpose, because robots.
  • I WOULD TOLLY GO.
  • This is supposedly a model test for Venom. if true, I’m disappointed. I wanted something less literal, more like the commando version from recent years.
  • The concept for the ongoing series spinning out of What We Do in the Shadows is brilliant.
  • I want those plans.
  • Having apparently learned nothing from the Dark Universe implosion, Paramount have announced a number of release dates for Hasbro properties, without any concept to guide them. There’s some real gems in there… maybe even a Jem… ha. I mean no. But maybe.

Stay tuned for fresh Root, as well as more info on the next Robot-Kraken podcast episode and our upcoming convention appearances, later this week!

PROBABLY the greatest detective in the world – Robots Root 8 June 17

Look, I’ll admit, I assumed, probably from leftover Grand Budapest fever dreaming, that Murder on the Orient Express would be a nutty surreal comedy. But I’m still in 133%. Plus, some would say Poirot’s mustache IS comedy. Not me, friends.

Thus, with suitable Kirby Krackle, it’s Robot’s Root!

  • These Hot Toys models are so eerily realistic. I just realized, not having been in the market for such things, that these have some sort of skeleton and a skin/covering system like a Realdoll(tm)… so basically a mini-Realdoll(tm) lacking, theoretically, certain anatomical features. Ugh, I’m creeped out. That said, impressive sculpt on this Amazonian Battle Chestpiece Diana.
  • The Buck Rogers plane is killing me.
  • I think I’d be fully into Ozark on Netflix anyway, but Jason Bateman totally elevates it.
  • I didn’t think I’d be interested in a Get Shorty remake. But the CAST!
  • This looks like a hot mess compilation of every other alien invasion action movie, but done on a 2008 iMac. BUT! I’m a glass half full (of broken glass) kind of guy: as about 1:35 in the trailer, one guy gets vaporized, and Lee pace runs over and catches the weapon the guy was holding and keeps firing it. It’s total Road Runner business. Revolting. Yes I said it.
  • Red Letter Media released the single best review of Covenant ever. And I say that, after recording thirteen hours of Coveant reviewage (rhymes with sewage) for Robot-Kraken. Best part: 5:30 into this majestic video.
  • Battlecat Mittens.
  • Lung pointed out the new Coco trailer, so I pulled up the Book of Life trailer for comparison. Loved the latter, will love the former. So much win all around. Except death. Death-win!
  • Hannah John-Kamen has been cast in a ‘key role’ in Ant-Man and Wasp. Curious… She’s best known for Killjoys, but she’s been in Game of Toles and Force Awakens… and will be in Ready Player One.
  • There’s ANOTHER Trek something something coming, with a serious pedigree (aka Wrath of Khan/Undiscovered Country) and supposedly NOT a rewrite of the new untitled film script for the Pineverse. I wonder if they are plotting out series’ or films set at different points¬†in the timeline? Seems like it would be monumentally confusing to many viewers. I mean, Force Awakens vs. Rogue One was hard enough for mainstream fans to process. Anyway, courtesy of this technicolor yawn of a web page, which makes my eyes burn even as it is often right.
  • Jennifer Connelly is on board (see what I did) the Snowpiercer TV adaptation. Quite a catch for AMC, but while the film was a refreshing surprise in its quality (I haven’t seen the original) yet ANOTHER property makes me return to the basic question os who would build a ‘global’ train track and perpetual train during an ice apocalypse. It’s very Playstation.
  • Thandie Newton just described Han Solo as a ‘dope-a-franchise’ … I love her HARD.

 

And with that, I leave you to tend to your furious mustache…